Leading Through Fear
When times get scary, how do you lead?
Fear arises at varying degrees and the experience of it is unique for each person - brought on by different events, interactions, even sights and sounds can trigger anxiety. See below a list of tips to manage your stress and steady the ship through rocky waters.
Breathe. Might sound simple, but studies have proven that focusing on your breath calms your nervous system. Your team depends on you as an emotional anchor and will sense if you’re tense. When you feel fear and anxiety begin to arise, before making any decisions (big or small) take 3 minutes to focus on your breath. If you can, close your eyes and move to a private space (a bathroom stall would work if you’re in a pinch!). Try to ground into your physical experience. Your feet on the ground, the temperature of the room - this is a grounding exercise and can help to reduce stress and slow your breath.
Communicate. Calmly and simply let your team know if you’re tense and why that might be the case. Being vulnerable can be a challenge especially when you’re already under stress. Whether you communicate the reasons why or not, the team will be able to sense something is up. If you communicate why, they have the information and will likely be less prone to worry and create their own narratives about why you’re stressed - potentially doing more harm than necessary.
Seek support. Servant leadership only goes so far as your ability to care for yourself. If you’re anxious or fearful, that might be a sign you need to get it out of your system by talking about it. Seek support in a safe space either within the workplace (HR, your boss, your peers) or outside the workplace (a therapist, coach, family, friends). Letting the steam out of the kettle by naming what’s going on helps to ease tension and reduce stress.
Be compassionate with yourself. What would you say to a friend or family member who is feeling the way you are? Be gentle with yourself and shed the layers of shame or self-judgement. We all have an inner critic stemming from painful experiences in our past. Try to dampen that voice with a kinder and gentler one. Might sound silly, but try picturing your self as a small child - what would you say to her/them/him? Learn more self-compassion tips here!
This too shall pass. Holding in mind that all feelings are impermanent, know that they will eventually subside. Like waves in an ocean, fear will rise and fall. The trick is to be more like a fish than a rock - move with the fear and accept it for what it is instead of resisting it. This will help it to pass more quickly or at the very least, decrease the decibel.
Need additional support or an outlet to work through your work-related anxiety? Schedule a free coaching session to see if it’s right for you.